


Alive

by engineer10349



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 18:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6020601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engineer10349/pseuds/engineer10349
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rewrite of 1x13 where Astra is alive. Alex/Astra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alive

“Help us,” said Alex. There was silence as Alex used all her training to try to read Astra’s face for her reaction. She didn’t want to hurt her, but she knew she would if she had to.

“Okay,” said Astra, looking at Alex with a sigh. Alex was right. The whole fiasco with the Black Mercy had only proved that she couldn’t trust Non, and that it was Alex who would protect Kara. And in truth, there was nobody Astra cared more about than her niece. 

“Okay? Okay!” said Alex, somewhat surprised that this had all gone so well. Astra released the hold she had on Alex as Alex told the rest of her team not to shoot Astra, since she was coming in willingly. Alex told Astra that a helicopter would be here any minute to get them out of here, but Astra just scoffed and picked Alex up. She started flying upwards slowly, grateful for her super tough skin as Alex dug her nails into Astra, although Alex would forever deny that.

“Just tell me where to go,” said Astra, smiling as Alex held onto Astra tightly, her entire body pressing against her. Alex had flown with Kara before, but that was a long time ago, and now she had a greater understanding of what it felt like to fall. She was sure Astra wouldn’t let anything happen to her, but it had been an intense day and her nerves hadn’t quite recovered. She gripped Astra even tighter with her left arm, then slowly moved her right arm away from Astra to point in the direction of the DEO. She didn’t trust her voice enough to seem calm, and she didn’t want Astra to know how nervous she was. Astra was well aware of human signs of stress, which Alex was displaying all of, however she said nothing and slowly flew in the direction that Alex pointed at.

They arrived safely. Alex had enjoyed the flight after a while, resting in Astra’s incredibly strong arms. They didn’t talk; neither of them really knew each other well enough to know what to say. They were bonded by Kara, and they both wanted revenge for what had happened to her, but it still felt like fragile subject matter right now. 

They walked into the DEO and tried to ignore the stares at Astra. Astra didn’t really mind, she was focused on getting a plan together to find Non and take him down. Alex gave sharp glares to everyone who seemed to be focusing on Astra for too long and they quickly found somewhere else to look. As they arrived at the command center they heard the news that Supergirl had lost Non. “Well what are we going to do to find him?” asked Astra instantly, her rage for that man only building.

“We will have to do that tomorrow,” said Hank, getting the feeling that Astra wasn’t really addressing , and maybe didn’t even know he was there, but he decided to make the point that he was in charge. “We are glad that you are with us Gen... I suppose it’s just Astra now. We will provide you with accommodation shortly, but in the meantime you can stay here.” 

“I suppose that is acceptable,” said Astra, not really having any choice. She wanted to go find Non now, but she was tired, and she was sure that the humans were tired too, so it was probably for the best that they all went to sleep. Alex left to go hang out with Kara and her friends while Astra tried to hide her distaste for her temporary quarters. She’d done her time in the Phantom Zone; as far as she was concerned she deserved a nice soft bed. But she went to sleep on it fairly quickly anyway, finding it easier to sleep now that she was on Kara’s side, and relieved for reasons she wasn’t really sure of that her and Alex were no longer enemies.

Astra woke to Alex standing over her smiling. Astra panicked for a second, not really remembering that she had switched sides, and she flew up and launched her fist at Alex, and then stopped herself just before she made contact. She quickly flew backwards onto the bed with her hands up. “Sorry,” she said, watching the fear on Alex’s face disappear.

“It’s okay. Do you always sleep this late?” Astra was relieved that Alex seemed unaffected by the surprise attack as she put her hands down. She wondered if Kara had almost accidentally attacked Alex at some point, or had done unintentional damage, and that was why she was so blaze about it.

“To be honest, the best thing about leading a terrorist group is sleeping in till midday and staying up most of the night,” said Astra, partly joking. Alex laughed though, and Astra smiled. Astra had spent so long being serious, being a soldier, being a prisoner, but there was another person underneath. Whenever she thought of Kara she thought that maybe she could be that person again, and she had been thinking of Kara a lot recently. She wasn’t usually one to let her guard down so fast, to let people see the real her, but something about Alex just made her want to show her the real person underneath the hard warrior facade.

“Well, welcome to the DEO. We get up at 5. It’s now 9, in case you don’t know how to read a human clock. I brought you some clothes. Not that I don’t love what you’re wearing,” Alex paused a little to wonder if Astra picked up exactly what she meant by that, but she didn’t seem to, “um, but anyway you’re one of us now, so this should help you blend in.” Alex threw the clothes at Astra, who caught them a little slowly, her super reflexes slowed by being a little too focused on Alex. “So I’ll just let you change then,” said Alex, wondering if she was blushing as she quickly exited the room.

Astra came out of the room five minutes later in the same generic black tee-shirt and pants that all the agents wore, although she had left a significant amount of top buttons undone. Astra enjoyed Alex’s reaction as she looked and then tried very hard not to look. Astra could of course hear Alex’s heart rate, something she thought Alex must be aware of given her sister being Kryptonian, but Alex still seemed to be trying to hide her feelings regardless. “Right, well, now that everybody’s here the plan is to split up into groups in order to look for Non. We have a lot of ground to cover, so we’re using small teams - teams of two. Astra, you’ll be with Agent Smith...” Alex told the group.

“No,” interjected Astra.

“No?” Alex wasn’t used to having her orders questioned, and she knew there might be a few cultural differences but she assumed that surely Astra was used to military protocol where the correct answer was ‘yes mam’.

“Absolutely not. You are the only human in this room, and probably this world, that I trust. I go with you or not at all.” Alex realized that Astra wasn’t really under her command, nor the DEO’s, nor America’s really, so Astra could kind of do whatever she wanted. And since they established a truce only last night, Alex decided to give Astra some leeway to get used to things her, and maybe get a little attached to it, and then start laying down some ground rules.

“Okay, fine. I’ll go with Astra, Agent Smith can go with...” Alex continued to announce the groups, although Astra had stopped paying attention. She wondered why Alex hadn’t opted to go with her in the first place. Alex obviously liked her, although she didn’t want to be overt about it. Maybe it was just humans being humans, doing odd things that don’t make sense. 

“Okay Astra let’s go, the chopper’s waiting” said Alex, who was suddenly standing in front of her with the rest of the agents leaving with their respective partners.

“Don’t be absurd; I’ll fly you,” said Astra, lifting Alex right there and flying through the DEO, stopping briefly to let Alex give her security clearance to the guard who opened the doors to let them leave. The guard said nothing about the fact that Alex was being carried by Astra, but she smiled at watching one of the more senior DEO members who had always seemed so tough just melt into the arms of their former enemy. If anyone ever asked, she would deny thinking that they looked adorable together. 

They used the same system as before; Alex pointed and Astra followed her direction. Astra slowed down once they got to the start of their search area, still opting to remain aerial. Astra simply used her X-Ray vision to scan for Non; given her previous relationship with the man she could identify him through that means. She had often used her vision to identify if/where he was injured, and as of late to check if he was concealing weapons. Alex didn’t really do anything, obviously she looked with her eyes, although Astra would see anything before she did. The entire area they were checking was completely deserted, so they didn’t have to explain anything to anyone. 

As time ticked on, Astra decided she should get to the bottom of this human’s feelings, especially if she was going to be in such close proximity to her. “You like me,” said Astra abruptly, startling Alex. 

“I...what?” asked Alex. Astra disregarded the question.

“And yet you do not try to pursue a relationship with me. I would like to know why.” Alex felt like she was definitely blushing at this point, but she suddenly realized that maybe her feeling’s weren’t one-sided. 

“A relationship ... I mean ... would you want that?” Alex asked, deliberately not answering the question.

“Maybe. If I got to know you better. If you got to know me better.” It did occur to Alex that she didn’t really know Astra that well, something that should probably change. 

“What do you want to know?” Alex asked.

“Why the DEO? You’re smart, why work for the government?” Alex ignored the inference that there were no intelligent people in the government, but she certainly noticed the compliment.

“I wanted to protect Kara. And ... I wanted to be strong. Kara, and you I guess, have super strength. But I know what it’s like to be weak, to have bullies hit you and kick you and insult you. And they always get away with it. Their parents defend them, the school defends them, my mother told me ‘kids will be kids’. I learned to fit in, to be one of the cool kids, and all of a sudden the bullies were my friends. But when I grew up, I didn’t want to have to fit in, so I learned to fight, and I learned to shoot, and now nobody pushes me around. I like saving people. That feeling when you walk into a hostile zone and you get that adrenaline rush and you kill them before they kill you. When you rescue the civilians and they hug you like you’re their best friend and they thank you over and over again. It’s a nice feeling. I felt it when I would save Kara at school. She just didn’t fit in; and people have a way of hurting anything that’s different. But I stood up for her and she looked at me like I was the super hero. And I used to resent her needing me to save her, but once I left school I realized that I missed it, and I missed her too.” Alex paused, wondering if she had given far too much of herself away. Astra seemed interested though, so she decided it was okay. “Why did you want to be in the military?”

“Oh, to be honest I just wanted to be different. My sister was always the smartest. She was loved by the people. She was everyone’s favorite. But she couldn’t fight, so I thought, well, I’ll do that. This is one thing that I can have and people will know me as something other than her sister. I didn’t mind military training. Being yelled at and called inferior seemed no different to what I was used to. I didn’t mind being apart from my family and everyone I’d ever known because honestly I didn’t like them too much, and I got the distinct impression that they didn’t miss me. I made my whole life about being a soldier, and I rose through the ranks as one would expect. But then the world was ending, my world anyway, and I wanted to save it. And yet my sister just wouldn’t listen to reason. So I fought, like I had for so long, except this time I lost. I guess my sister was better at everything after all. And then I suppose I made the same mistake twice with this world, although this time I wasn’t blinded by resentment. And this time there was you.” Astra realized that she had said more than she intended and went suddenly silent. 

“Well I’m glad that I could help. I know what it’s like to be the least favorite child. It can sting, that’s for sure. But for the record, and I know it’s not much because I never met her, but you’re my favorite,” said Alex, feeling reasonably confident at this point that Astra felt the same way she did. Astra smiled at that, so brightly that Alex wondered if anyone had ever said that to her in her life. 

“Thank you, Agent ... Alex. I do love my niece, but I think I can say now that I would probably rather spend my evening with you.”

“Are you asking me out?” Alex asked, wondering when her crush on the badass General had turned into something worthy of romance.

“Only if you say yes,” said Astra, suddenly self-conscious. She was nervous since she hadn’t ever asked anyone out before, and despite years on the battlefield, this was a very different kind of fear.

“Yes.” They spent the whole day combing over their search area, but found no trace of Non. Astra and Alex didn’t really care though; their appetite for vengeance had been temporarily forgotten as they enjoyed getting to know each other. They flew back to the DEO to debrief and it seemed that nobody had had any luck. Non had disappeared for the time being, but they would be watching for any sign of him. Not tonight however, tonight they were free, and tonight Astra was taking Alex out.

They went to a bar, because Astra had heard that’s what humans did from Kara, and Alex got the drinks, although they were all for her because Astra was unaffected by alcohol. Alex was already liking this relationship; not having to share alcohol was a big plus in her book. They talked some more about their pasts. Alex was fascinated by Astra’s stories of Krypton; they were so different to Kara’s idealized perfect version. Astra enjoyed hearing about Alex’s whole human life, and since Alex was the first human Astra had really interacted with, she was constantly surprised and horrified of the tales she heard. The cost of the education system had been such a shock that Astra had accidentally released some of her freeze breath as her jaw hung open. 

Alex got drunk quickly, and Astra decided that one day she was going to have to ask Alex if she should be concerned by her alcohol consumption. Astra also realized very quickly that Alex never admitted she was drunk, and hence was unwilling to stop drinking. Astra had superior strength however, and she simply carried Alex out of the bar with a hand over her mouth to stop her protests. She flew her home at super speed so nobody could see them, and then placed Alex in her bed. Alex didn’t want to stay down, but Astra could gently hold her in place and just waited for a few minutes until the soft bed and late time won out and Alex fell asleep. Astra flew back to the DEO to her own quarters.

Astra woke up again to Alex standing over her. This time, Astra was well aware that Alex was not her enemy, however she was slightly disoriented. “Seriously Astra? It’s 10,” said Alex, although she sounded far more amused than anything else. Astra groaned and closed her eyes.

“Five more minutes,” she grumbled.

“What are you? 12? Get up,” said Alex, grabbing the covers off Astra and pulling them off, then very quickly putting them back on. And that was how Alex learned that Astra slept naked. “Right. Okay. Yeah. That did not happen. Nope. So I’m going to go and you just come out when you’re ready. Dressed,” said Alex, stumbling backwards, watching Astra’s smirk form, leaving as quickly as she could manage. 

Astra did arrive at the command center, although it was a whole hour later. She had taken a nice, long, hot shower for a while as well as slept in for a little bit longer than five minutes. “How are you former military?” asked Alex. Astra noted that almost all of the other soldiers had gone, probably already deployed to their zones. 

“You know, I don’t like to let my past define me,” said Astra, deciding that her and Alex were close enough after yesterday to have a little fun. Alex just rolled her eyes, so Astra figured she had presumed correctly. The truth was that Astra had never really wanted to be in the military in the first place, and while she had adapted to the painfully early days, she had been quick to adapt right back into what she liked to call ‘normal people time’. And although Astra was with the DEO right now, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to stay with a military organization. Except that Alex was here, so here she intended to stay.

“Right, well we have a new grid to search today. I suppose you want to fly me again,” said Alex, walking over to Astra and putting her arms around her neck.

“Tell me you want to,” said Astra, with a playfulness Alex had never seen from her. 

“What?” Alex asked, wondering how long she intended to let Astra disregard her authority like this. Although as she looked into her eyes, she realized the answer was probably ‘quite a bit longer’. 

“Tell me you want me to fly you. Tell me you like being close to me. And then I’ll pick you up and we can search for Non,” said Astra, adding air quotes around ‘search for Non’.

“Are you feeling okay? You seem different.”

“I am different. I realized something last night. I have spent my whole life trying to prove that I am just as good as my sister, or that I am better than my sister, or that I deserve a sliver of what my sister has. And, in hindsight, that was a really bad plan. I joined an organization that I didn’t even like, I killed people, I married Non, I got sent to the Phantom Zone and then I arrived on this planet with the last of my family and I thought, ‘let’s start a war and be on the opposite side to them’. So I’m going to be different now. I am going to make better choices. I am going to do what makes me happy, and maybe make a few other people happy too. But I’m done forcing my will on people. So, do you want me to fly you?” Astra asked, hands remaining firmly by her sides until Alex answered. Although, if Astra moved her face a little to brush against Alex’s arm a little, well, she was still getting used to her new philosophy.

“Yes,” said Alex, somehow even more attracted to Astra. 

“Okay then,” said Astra, picking her up and flying her to the checkpoint with the same guard they saw the last time. The guard had already opened the gate this time; she knew exactly who was coming through when she heard the sound of someone moving with super speed. They sped off towards their new destination, Alex now feeling so safe and relaxed as the world rushed past in a blur because Astra was always there, clear as day, and she knew that she wasn’t letting go. 

Astra found it interesting that all the zones they had to search were in some desert in the middle of nowhere so they were alone. She certainly didn’t mind though. Alex didn’t even bother trying to look like she was doing anything anymore, she just cuddled closer to Astra and watched her scan the area. “Kara has told me about dating,” Astra began, and Alex held her breath for a moment because she thought she knew where this was going, “would you like to do that? With me?”

“It’s a little soon for that, Astra,” said Alex softly, seeing the attempt Astra made at hiding the hurt in her eyes, “but we could have a second date sometime.” Astra wasn’t entirely sure what the difference between ‘dating’ and having another date was, but she was quite happy to take either. 

They did go out again, that weekend, even though they spent every day together. Alex insisted on having their date in a shopping mall so that she could buy Astra a mobile phone with an alarm clock in it. Astra insisted on the latest technology, and held back on calling it ‘primitive’ when Alex was so impressed by its features. Alex put her number in Astra’s phone along with Kara’s, and Astra texted them both a smiley face. Alex rolled her eyes, but a few minutes later Kara texted Astra back another smiley face. 

Astra got her own apartment, although it was 2 floors down from Alex’s. Astra insisted she picked the location solely based on price and proximity to the DEO, which was of a course a complete lie. The DEO paid for it though, and Astra was thrilled to finally live somewhere that didn’t seem like a prison. The only time she’d lived anywhere this nice was back when she was growing up, although she was certainly a lot happier now than she was back then, even if she had gone back centuries in technology. Astra and Alex went out eight more times until Alex was ready to call it dating, and it took them six months to move in together, which everyone who knew them thought was ridiculous because they literally lived in the same building and they were always over at each others places.

On their ‘one year since you went on a date with me but we weren’t dating’ anniversary (at least that’s how Astra says it, in a tone that indicated that she thought human ideas about dating were utterly ridiculous) Alex and Astra were at home having dinner when Non crashed through the wall and sprinted towards them. Alex cursed herself for not keeping Kryptonite in the house as Astra immediately flew in front of Alex. Non flew at Astra with a dagger, but she grabbed it and took control of his arm. She had always been stronger than he was, although he had somehow managed to convince himself otherwise, and Astra easily drove the Kryptonite dagger into Non’s heart. The Kryptonite might have weakened her, but the adrenaline at seeing Alex in danger had compensated. However, as she watched Non die the adrenaline faded, and she suddenly felt very faint.

She woke up in the sunbed Alex had insisted on buying, and that Astra had insisted would never be necessary, which had lived in their closet untouched since they had bought it. Alex had put it right beside their bed, where she was currently asleep, and Astra gathered that her girlfriend had spent quite a lot of time worrying before finally getting to sleep. Astra tried to get up as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake her, but the second her feet hit the floor Alex woke up. “Oh thank God,” said Alex, jumping into her girlfriend’s arms. Astra held her easily, since her super strength had returned. 

“I think you still need to sleep,” said Astra gently, putting Alex back into bed and lying next to her. Alex held her girlfriend tight, deciding she was the big spoon for the first time in their relationship, with so much force that it would have hurt a human. Astra decided to let her have this, since she was sure her girlfriend had spent a lot of time imagining worst-case scenarios. Alex had gotten about an hour of sleep, only because exhaustion finally won out as she had laid in bed watching a dead-looking Astra. But she was okay now. Everything was okay. And Non was finally gone.

“I love you,” said Alex, pulling Astra even tighter to her and closing her eyes. 

“I love you too.” Astra would never tell her, but she loved when Alex got clingy. Did she occasionally take some risks she shouldn’t just so Alex would get a little concerned? Maybe, but only when she was sure it’d be fine. She used to take risks all the time that she’d never dream of taking now. Now she actually wanted to survive. She had Alex to come home to. Alex wasn’t the most affectionate human, but Astra had learned to read between the lines to know that she did care quite a lot, she was just a little scared to admit how much she cared. So maybe Astra gave her a little adrenaline kick once in a while which made Alex run into her arms and repeat ‘I love you don’t ever do that again’ until they got home. And maybe she liked the way Alex kissed her more desperately than usual because she was acutely aware of how fleeting life was, maybe she liked Alex backing her into every surface in the apartment, and maybe she liked that Alex would actually talk about her feelings, to make sure that Astra knew in case anything happened. But she’d never tell Alex, because if Alex knew that Astra was taking unnecessary risks she’d be sleeping on the couch for a month.

Alex fell asleep fairly quickly, although Astra was stuck wide awake. She didn’t move though; she was too worried any movements would wake her human up and she didn’t want that. So she just lay there, enjoying the feeling of lying in her girlfriend’s arms, glad that they were both alive.


End file.
